Open your eyes

How To Annoy People In An Elevator

Announce in a demonic voice: “I must find a more suitable host body.”

Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. Press the wrong ones.

Ask someone to take your temperature, then turn around and bend over.

Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

Bring a camera, take pictures of everybody in the elevator.

Call out, “Group hug!” and enforce it.

Call the psychic hotline from you cell phone, and ask if they know what floor you’re on.

Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
Challenge people to games of hide-and-seek.

Collapse on the floor when the elevator goes up, then get up and look embarrassed.
Collect an elevator tax.
Count down from 100,000 out loud.

Do Tai Chi exercises.

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your “personal space.”

Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”

Give each passenger a round of applause as they enter or leave.

Give each passenger a ticket and remind them that door prize drawing is in half an hour.

Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

Greet everyone with a smile and a handshake, then ignore them.

Guard the button panel so no one can touch it. Growl and bite at anyone’s fingers who attept to cross you.

Hold the elevator door open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, “Hi John, how’s your day been?”

Hum the theme from Mission Impossible with yours eyes darting around the elevator.
Hum the theme to Jeopardy

Lick gummy bears and stick them to things (the walls, the buttons, the passengers, etc.)

Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.

Move your desk in to the elevator, and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

Place police tape (CRIME SCENE DO NOT CROSS) on the inside of the doors.

Say “Ding!” at each floor.

Say, while holding a paper with OUT OF ORDER written on it, “I wonder why this was glued on the door when I came in.”

Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

Stare at your thumb and say, “I think it’s getting larger.”

Try to purchase an article of clothing from the person next to you.

When the elevator doors close, bang on them, screaming let me out!

When the doors open, pretend you did it with your mind.

When there’s only one other person on the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn’t you.

Whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a Small World” incessantly.

Annoying Things To Do During A Job Interview

While shaking hands get into a heated thumb wrestling match.

Repeat everything your interviewer says, keep going until he or she yells at you. Then ask if you got the job.

Stick a piece of broccoli between your front teeth, smile a lot.

In the beginning of the interview pull out a gun and put it on the interviewer’s desk in front of you, then say, “Mind if I rest this here during the interview?”

Demand that if hired you want desk plate that reads, “Big Kahuna.”

Comment on how much you like your interviewer’s spouse’s picture, then take it and put it in your briefcase.

Announce that you are committing a hostile take over of the company, fire your interviewer.

Ik zie dat duimworstelen wel voor me.

Mijn antwoord op alle vragen: Sexy rokende collega’s en veel roken.

oowh en nog een,
maar dat is als het wakker blijven echt niet gaat lukken.
Onder mijn tafel liggen honderden snoertjes.
Wat ik dan doe is, ik ga onder de tafel zitten, met mijn rug tegen ladenblok en ogen dicht. Niemand die me ziet.
Als er iemand langsloopt roep ik iets als:’ jessus wie prikt er nou zo een netwerkkabeltje in’ of ik roep:’ ah ja nou snap ik waarom ik zo’n kloteverbinding heb’ aangezien ik na al die jaren al one of the guys ben, en als ik es lippenstift op doe iedereen me vraagt of ik verliefd ben, hoef ik dus ook helemaal niet bang te zijn, dat iemand ook onder die tafel duikt om te helpen